Not a Party Person

I went to a party not long ago where the host’s housemate cocooned herself in her room for the evening to avoid the party that had flooded the downstairs part of her house. I respected her ability to unashamedly declare that parties just aren’t her cup of tea and remain absent from an event that was happening in her own house.

I’m not a party person either. I’ve accepted it but I’m not quite brave enough to embrace it like my friend’s housemate. I always feel the pressure to go to parties, particularly when they’re hosted by friends who I’m eager to see in other situations. I’ve never been bold enough to come out and say, “Well to be honest, I just don’t enjoy parties.”

It’s not that I’m not sociable: I’m very sociable with people I know. But I find getting to know new people difficult, and (unless it’s one I’m unusually comfortable with), a party is generally full of new people. I’m not good with small talk and I can never quite understand how to move a conversation from small talk to something more substantial. Frankly, the whole process is rather more difficult and awkward than I can bear to cope with most of time; I’d far rather meet a small group of friends and be introduced to others one at a time in a situation where everyone is completely at ease.

I love those rare occasions where you get past the awkward barrier and realise that you’ve made a genuine friend, but I don’t find parties, on the whole, to provide me with this opportunity. Having the same conversation twelve different times with people I know I’ll never see again just isn’t something I find fun. I tend to end up planted firmly beside the dips, nervously sampling every kind of crisp available and drinking slightly too much wine slightly too quickly.

It’s only recently that I’ve realised that this is a permanent attitude for me. It feels quite relieving to know that it’s just that I don’t much enjoy parties and not that I’m intrinsically antisocial. Although I should probably have worked this out earlier...

Image by D Sharon Pruitt